The homeless would like homes more than prayers

I got into an argument several weeks ago about this issue with a girl who used to be on my facebook friend list. She preached the word of god like crazy, but when I brought up the subject of homelessness and the ineffectiveness of religion regarding the matter, she suggested that those people could simply go and find shelters if they don’t have anywhere to go.

In my opinion, the problem exhibited here is the lack of comprehension behind people like her who believe that religion bares prevalence when it comes to real-world issues such as this. Clearly, it is this kind of understanding that precipitates blissful ignorance of the facts…. facts that prove just the kind of disconnect that keeps real-world problems from being solved with real-world solutions.

I often disclaimed on her posts that I wasn’t bashing her or anyone when it came to religion. And I really wasn’t, although I do tend to have a little fun with Christians to give them a laugh; the only ones who seem to laugh when I poke fun at religion, seemingly are athiests, and people who are religious/spiritual, but have a deep understanding behind much of the discontention regarding the subject, and understand how to exhibit their beliefs truthfully unafraid of nuance or disagreement when it comes to this subject when real-world issue are discussed with real-world interpretations and not faith-based theology.

In my opinion, believe what you will and have all the faith you want, as long as you don’t gangrape it with unreasonable false equivalencies and extremist behavior.
But it is up to man and womankind alike to solve the real-world problems of today, with real-world solutions I hope that all Christians and religious people alike will take note of the importance of doing this in the future, as we have been witness to the mass bumbling of our economic and social initiatives in the last three or so decades, because simply, they prayed to the invisible “man in the sky” for answers that never came accept for that from the voices in their own heads.

Besides, if god could talk and had all the answers, I don’t think he had poverty and homelessness, along with suffering, rape, murder, suicide, mass death, disease and sickness, and the very destruction of all things natural on this planet to insure his “children’s” own innovation, in mind.

And frankly, if you are one of those people who likes to assure that homelessness, among all of the problems mankind continues to impose unto itself are all a part of his grand scheme to unfold, coming soon to a rapture near you, then feel free to tell me how much of a flaming, hellbound godless bastard I am…

…And then take Glenn Beck and John Boehner with you to go seek some much needed medical attention.

Otherwise, feel free to comment!

You Can't Explain That

10 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ORGASM

#1. The unborn do it. The Journal of Ultrasound in Medicine wrote an article titled "Observations of In Utero Masturbation" depicting the above image from a real live ultrasound.

#2. You don't need genitals. Many can achieve orgasm without needing to use their genitals. Stroking eyebrows, the kneegasm, even thinking yourself to orgasm. One woman was studied for having orgasms whenever she brushed her teeth. Bet she had great dental hygene eh? Actually no. She believed she was possessed by demons, and thus switched to mouthwash for all oral care.

#3. Dead people can do it. beating heart cadavers (who are brain dead, legally dead) can have an orgasm if the sacral nerve root (right above ass in prime tramp stamp territory) is stimulated to trigger an orgasm reflex. Although it wouldn't be much fun... for the dead person.

#4. Orgasm can cause bad breath. One hour after sexual intercourse a woman's breath may have a slight seminal odor. This was discovered by 1930s marriage manual author Theodore Van de Velde. In his book discussing ideal marriage (very heterosexual) he claimed to be able to differentiate the smell of a young man's semen, characterized as having a "fresh exhilarating smell" and that of a mature man, which was "remarkably like that of the flowers of the Spanish chestnut, sometimes quite freshly floral, and sometimes extremely pungent." That's not gay at all.

#5. It cures hiccups. In 1999 in Israel a man with constant non-stop hiccups for days found himself cured after having sex with his wife. It is still speculated (by me) that his wife was magic.

#6. Doctors prescribed it for fertility. In the early 1900s gynecologists believed orgasm contractions sucked semen up through the cervix. This was called the Up Suck Theory. Marriage manual author and Semen Sniffer, Theodore Van de Velde, had a line in his book agreeing with the theory.

Masters and Johnson were Up Suck skeptics (which is also really fun to say) and in 1950s brought 5 woman into the lab and (this is the part where you predict my next words will be "had sex with them") outfitted them with cervical caps containing artificial semen. The women masturbated in front of an X-ray to see if The White Stuff got sucked up during orgasm. Turns out it didn't. In case you're wondering how you make artificial semen (and I know you are), flour and water or corn starch and water. 

PROTIP: Another way orgasm might boost fertility. Sperm that sit around in the body for a week or more start to develop abnormalities that make them less effective. British sexologist Roy Levin has speculated that this is why men evolved to be such enthusiastic and frequent masturbators. If you keep beating the puddi you get fresh sperm being made. So now you have an evolutionary excuse.

#7. Pig farmers still do. In Denmark the Danish National Committee for Pig Production finds that if you sexual stimulate a pig while you artificially inseminate her you will see a 6% increase in number of piglets produced.

#8. Female animals are having more fun than you think. Most animals don't register pain or pleasure on their faces. Primates do however. The above image is the O Face of the Stump-tailed Macaque. This has been observed in females, but only when mounting another female. And they say homosexuality isn't natural...

#9. Studying human orgasm in a lab is not easy. Masters and Johnson wanted to figure out the entire human sexual response cycle from arousal all the way through orgasm in men and women. For women a lot of this activity happens inside the honey cave. So they had to developed an artificial coition machine, aka, a penis camera on a motor.

#10. But it sure is entertaining. In the 1940s Alfred Kinsey wanted to test the theory that the force of the ejaculation was a determining factor in fertility. 300 men, a measuring tape, and a movie camera (sounds like the tagline to the best movie ever.) In 3/4th of the men the baby batter just sloshed out. The World Heavyweight Champion of Ejaculation was the record holder who shot Thy Unmerciful Load 8 feet. Sadly, the Clotted Cream Catapulter was anonymous.

Alright, so maybe you guys and gals are wondering why I have written a topic that is NOT WORTH MENTIONING. It's actually a parody to fellow blogger Copyboy, who has a brilliantly funny blog that I demand all 821 of my followers go check out.

"Name Something That Gets Passed Around"

 
Here's a Family Feud clip to entertain all you evil, wicked heathens.

Coca Cola?

Just watching this old video that apparently used to be used by Mormon youth groups in bible study...

Apart from it's obviously ridiculous fairytale story, at 5:12 there's a list of "Don'ts" that has Coca Cola at the bottom with a question mark. Anyone got an idea why this is? Were they unsure of whether the delicious flavor and fizzy delight was an abomination? Maybe it was a subtle product placement?

Give me your wildest ideas!

Censoring The Bible

When Christian author Rachel Held Evans heard about the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn controversy, she was upset because she loves the book so much. How dare people change the book by revising parts they don’t like?!

And what about the House Republicans’ desire to read the Constitution aloud… but only after omitting that whole Three-Fifths Compromise? How dare people change the Constitution by getting rid of the parts that don’t sit well with the public?

That’s when she realized she had been doing the same thing with the Bible:

I was putting together the liturgy for The Mission and decided I wanted to include Psalm 9 in our reading.
…
Verses 4-6 didn’t sound very Christlike to me, so I whipped out that most venerated weapon in the Bible-reader’s arsenal — the ellipses — and with the precision of an expert, surgically removed them. Our liturgy was tidy and consistent and comfortable again. No one would even notice those three little dots.

It took about 17 seconds for the irony of the situation to settle in.

It raises a lot of questions:

Why is it ok for Christians to effectively ignore books like Leviticus in their Bible studies?
Why don’t pastors ever seem to talk about the rape and murder in the Old Testament?
Why is it ok for Christians to clip out Bible verses they don’t think represent their faith well when preparing a reading?

It’s not like they “sanitize” the Bible for children and then give them the real, full version as adults — the adults ignore the embarrassing parts, too.

If you’re going to be a Christian, you can’t pretend like those verses aren’t there.

Ricky Gervais on Piers Morgan

Comedian Ricky Gervais appeared on “Piers Morgan Tonight” to talk about his “controversial” stint hosting the Golden Globes.

Of course, atheism came up in conversation.

Gervais says that religious people shouldn’t be offended at his recent atheism joke. After all, he doesn’t get offended when they thank a god in their acceptance speeches.

Gervais added that religious people “haven’t got the monopoly on good.”



This is why it’s a boon to have strong spokespeople for our outlook. Gervais appears calm, sincere, and certainly not anti-religious or angry. He’s just stating the facts as he sees them and he sounds like he genuinely can’t understand what all the uproar is about.

If you haven't seen the full interview I strongly suggest you try and find it. It's definitely worth watching.

At one point in the interview he said something that I just loved. He says that nobody has the right to not be offended, and just because you're offended doesn't mean you're in the right. Lots of people are offended by mixed marriage, it doesn't mean they're right.

He went on to say something about how religious people don't believe in all the other Gods out there. He was getting very close to saying that everyone is an atheist, and that he's just an atheist to 1 more God than all the Christians. Sadly, it got cut to commercial break before he could make that point.

Another fascinating part of the interview that I had never known about Gervais is that he does not have an official marriage to his wife. He has been with his wife for 25 years but they have never had an official ceremony or a legal marriage. Everything they own is in both their names, and they feel no need to get a certificate that says they are united in the eyes of God. I was particularly moved by this since I've never liked the idea of getting a legal document that binds me to my spouse. If I truely love someone and want to be with them for the rest of my life, I think it would be more meaningful of we stayed together without having a legally binding contract of marriage.